He was 24 I was 17 when we went on our first date, in fact it was my 17th birthday. Again, as part of his agenda, this manipulative behavior lays the groundwork for the next discard which, of course, will come faster after his return and with far more crippling intensity than all the discards before it. He lies to me multiple times daily, lives double lives, is addicted to everything, and is the coldest person I have ever met. I feel my mental health has been seriously compromised. I also recommend you and your daughter see a counselor in order to deal with the trauma you and she have been through. He even talked me out of going to court after a brutal sudden attack last year, saying repeatedly how he would die in jail.
He told me he was separated at the time, only to discover he went back to his wife. I want them to know what true love really is. As much as I would love to be independently wealthy and able to help everyone free of charge I just can not. My N was so commited to breaking through that it has been a total nightmare. During your time together, he will have broken you down repeatedly and left you doubting yourself, your beauty inner and outer , and your ability to function without him. That was the only way I thought I could find peace. Sorry this is long but I could go on and on…the D is still pending, and he has now told my atty that he wants primary custody.
All the things she said made me more and more cautious of her. Once i forced myself not to have contact I was able to regain myself control and healthy way of thinking! I thought I had done this when I wrote this, but I guess it was somehow left off. I am learning now not to be blind. I feel very much used and abused. The woman who he was referring to was a co-worker of his for five years and they were friends.
A narcissist will always return to an ex-lover to ensure that his narcissistic supply still pines for him and that she never moves on from the pain he has caused her. Then file for a restriction against your abuser in even coming near you or calling you. I was getting older and wanted to get married and possibly have children. I told him the last time I checked my check went in the bank on Friday to. He had always been selfish and cruel, but he became much more verbally and eventually physically abusive. Can you imagine that for the rest of your life putting up with this nonsense? It is by moving on that we defeat our abuser, minimizing him and his importance in our lives. That is why taking responsibility for our own health is the key to freedom! I have just learned my husband really fits a lot of the characteristics of a N.
He is smart, a great guitarist, handsome, witty, sexy. He ranted for many years about his ex wife being a paranoid, delusional, whack job now its my turn and I have a feeling that he will be relentless and go on for many years to come. Through the intricate mechanism of projective identification he forces her to play an emergent role of the sick or the weak or the naive or the dumb or the no good. So when you leave him behind, what you see in the mirror could be very different to that which you saw before you met him. I suggest you look up a biblical counselor in your area that deals with Narcissistic abuse.
. She never dared cross me again. I have to get out of this situation but i have to have income to do it. I have Had relationship since I left my ex n. He had won me over so now he is bored with me. Dr Judith Orloff, a clinical psychiatrist at the University of California Los Angeles, wrote in a recent blog post on Psychology Today that narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you're giving up a part of your heart to leave them, because they're very good at becoming the centre of your universe while you're with them. I often wondered if he was a closet homosexual or gay, he told me that he had tried to kiss his best friend once a guy when they were teenagers and drink, I also caught him putting on my mascara! Glad to hear you have support and enjoying a new found empowerment.
Just remember that he is toying with your emotions and he is enjoying a game that only involves him at which he is loving every moment. I see him now as a pathetic little man , a loser and non functioning person. He will say and do new and vicious acts against you. To those who know this immense sadness, I know how heavy a burden it is to make amends with only yourself. And what normal woman would not get drawn in by that? I would not want to change that because of this experience. One more thing: the narcissist is already a small, fearful, broken person hiding behind a monster he uses to keep people away and control them. I fell head over heels in love with a narcissist.
My friends have been my reality. They are perfectly aware of their charisma and charm and they know all our weaknesses and they will never hesitate to use all this to hurt us again. I had been avoiding doing this work on self my whole life and as you say, it just gets easier and easier. Why I allowed him to treat me likes this? I stupidly tried to say this behavior only meant he had something to hide and was no way for an adult in a 10 year relationship to behave he told people for a long time…I was his wife. And that comes with moving on no matter what.